A Grown-Ass Man Ought to Know How to Fix a Few Things Around His Own Damn House
I got a question for some of you fellas.
What the hell happened to people knowing how to fix shit around their own houses?
I'm serious.
I'm not talking about building a house from the ground up. I'm not expecting everybody to know how to wire a breaker panel, install a furnace, or rebuild a transmission.
Hell, I've been doing construction a long damn time, and there's plenty of shit I still don't know.
But Jesus Christ.
Some of the things people call a contractor for anymore make me wonder how the hell they've managed to survive this long.
A toilet that won't stop running.
A door that won't latch.
A cabinet hinge that's come loose.
A little hole in the drywall.
And my personal favorite, a sink that's clogged because somebody's been dumping enough grease down it to open a damn McDonald's.
Now, before somebody gets their panties in a wad, let me say something.
There ain't a damn thing wrong with calling somebody who knows what they're doing.
That's how I make my living.
And there are plenty of jobs you absolutely ought to leave to somebody qualified.
But there's a difference between knowing your limitations and being completely helpless.
And somewhere along the way, I think we've started confusing the two.
YOUR GRANDFATHER DIDN'T HAVE YOUTUBE
Think about the men who came before us.
Your grandfather probably had a toolbox full of mismatched wrenches, three screwdrivers, a hammer with a cracked handle, and a coffee can full of screws he'd been saving since Eisenhower was president.
And somehow that old bastard kept an entire house standing.
Was everything done perfectly?
Hell no.
Half the time, if you took something apart, you'd discover he'd fixed it with a piece of wire, two roofing nails, and something that looked suspiciously like a part off a lawn mower.
But he figured shit out.
He'd look at something, scratch his head, cuss a little, and get to work.
Sometimes he'd make it worse.
Sometimes he'd have to call somebody.
But at least he tried to understand what the hell was wrong.
Nowadays, a grown man will stand in front of a running toilet holding a thousand-dollar smartphone and announce that he doesn't know what to do.
Well, for Christ's sake, look it up.
You've got more information in your pocket than your grandfather had access to in his entire lifetime.
Use some of it.
YOU DON'T NEED A GARAGE FULL OF TOOLS
Here's another thing that drives me nuts.
Some fellas think they can't fix anything because they don't have $5,000 worth of tools.
Bullshit.
You'd be amazed what you can accomplish around a house with a decent hammer, a few screwdrivers, an adjustable wrench, some pliers, a tape measure, and a little common sense.
And before you go buying every damn tool in the hardware store, learn what the ones you've already got are for.
I've seen men spend hundreds of dollars on equipment they don't know how to use.
They'll buy a cordless drill with more settings than a commercial airplane, then strip the head off the first screw they touch.
Now they've got a $200 drill and a $3 problem that's turned into a $75 problem.
Congratulations.
You own tools.
That doesn't mean you know how to use the sons of bitches.
SOMETIMES THE FIX IS STUPIDLY SIMPLE
You know how many household problems start with something small?
A screw works loose.
A washer wears out.
A drain starts collecting hair.
A door shifts a little with the seasons.
Something that could've been handled in twenty minutes gets ignored for six months.
Then one day, the cabinet door falls off, the sink backs up, or somebody has to lift the toilet tank lid every time they take a shit.
And suddenly it's an emergency.
Here's a little advice from somebody who's spent years fixing things.
Pay attention when something starts acting up.
A house will usually tell you when something's wrong.
That little drip under the sink?
It ain't gonna get better because you stopped looking at it.
That soft spot in the bathroom floor?
Putting a rug over it doesn't make the wood any less rotten.
And that toilet that's been running for three weeks?
You're not saving yourself any trouble by pretending you can't hear it.
You're just paying the water company to listen to it with you.
KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE SHIT ALONE
Now, I need to make something clear before somebody reads this and decides he's gonna rewire his entire house Saturday afternoon.
Being handy doesn't mean being stupid.
There are things I won't touch without the right training, equipment, or help.
Electrical work can kill you.
Gas work can kill you.
Structural mistakes can put a roof in your lap.
And water has a remarkable ability to turn a small mistake into several thousand dollars' worth of damage.
A smart man knows when he's out of his depth.
There's no shame in calling a professional.
The shame is in being too damn proud to admit you don't know what you're doing.
I've seen plenty of expensive disasters caused by men who were absolutely certain they knew what they were doing.
Right up until they didn't.
THAT'S WHY I WROTE THE DAMN BOOK
I've been in construction long enough to see the same basic problems over and over.
And I've met plenty of people who'd like to handle some of this stuff themselves but don't know where to start.
So I sat down and wrote a book.
Shit Every Grown-Ass Man Ought to Know How to Fix.
And despite the title, I didn't write it to make anybody feel stupid for not knowing something.
Hell, nobody comes out of the womb knowing how to replace a toilet flapper or patch drywall.
Somebody's gotta show you.
That's what the book is for.
It's about understanding some of the everyday problems that come with owning or taking care of a house.
Because the more you understand, the less likely you are to panic every time something breaks.
And the less likely you are to spend a couple hundred bucks on something you might've been able to handle yourself.
Not everything, mind you.
Sometimes paying somebody who knows what the hell they're doing is the smartest money you'll ever spend.
But other times?
You might just need a screwdriver, a ten-dollar part, and enough patience not to throw the whole goddamn thing across the room.
That's the kind of stuff I want people to learn.
How to recognize a problem.
How to figure out whether it's something you can safely tackle yourself.
And how to know when it's time to put the tools down and call somebody.
I don't care if you're 25 or 65.
I don't care if you've never picked up a hammer in your life.
Everybody starts somewhere.
And there's something pretty satisfying about fixing something in your own house and knowing you didn't have to pay somebody else to do it.
Even if you did cuss at it for forty-five minutes first.
I'LL KNOCK HALF OFF THE PRICE
Since we're talking about it, I'm gonna run a little special for folks reading this article.
50% off my book.
Regular price is $9.99. With the discount, you're paying about five bucks.
Hell, you can barely get a decent sandwich for that anymore.
If the book helps you fix one little thing around your house instead of calling somebody, you've probably gotten your money's worth.
And if you read it and decide you'd rather hire somebody anyway?
That's fine too.
At least you'll have a better idea of what the hell you're paying somebody to do.
And maybe next time something breaks, you'll feel a little more confident about figuring it out.
That's worth something.
— Joe Durst
Joe Durst Construction
A LITTLE SOMETHING FROM JOE DURST CONSTRUCTION
LEARN TO FIX YOUR OWN DAMN SHIT.
Shit Every Grown-Ass Man Ought to Know How to Fix
A little know-how can save you a hell of a lot of money. I wrote this book to help folks understand common household problems, tackle the ones they can safely handle, and know when it's time to call somebody who knows what they're doing.
$9.99 ABOUT $5
50% OFF FOR BLOG READERS
Discount applied through the special link above.
JOE DURST CONSTRUCTION
Good work. Common sense. No bullshit.
Comments ()