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A fishing rod propped beside a quiet pond

Advice From a Stranger: I Need to Respect Myself More

Got an email this morning from a fella who stumbled across my website. Said he pushed a few buttons, found some pictures of me that weren't exactly suitable for church, and thought I oughta make them harder to find.

A small fishing float resting on gently rippling water

What Jerking Off Has Taught Me About Self-Control

Well here's something I never thought I'd be writing about. Jerking off. But considering I've already told half the damn internet I sell my used underwear, I guess we're past the point of pretending I'm some respectable member of society.

An empty rustic bench overlooking a quiet lake

I Like People. Just Not All the Damn Time

I don't know if it's something that happens when you get older or if I've always been this way. But I like being left the hell alone sometimes. Don't get me wrong. I like people.

A tape measure extended across a wooden work surface

Everybody Knows a Guy Who Can Do It Cheaper

Been doing construction long enough to know how this conversation usually goes. Somebody calls me about building a deck. I go look at it. Take measurements. Figure out what they want. Spend some time putting together a price.

A dark smartphone beside a coffee mug and wallet on a table

I Don't Understand Why Everything Needs an App

Maybe I'm just getting old. Stopped to get coffee the other day and the girl asked if I had their app. No. I got five dollars and I want coffee. Why the hell do I need to download something?

A cast iron skillet and well-used metal spatula beside a kitchen towel

Meet My Grandma

Her name was Arlene. I've been thinking about her a lot the last couple days. If you saw what I wrote about the older lady I met at the restaurant the other day, I guess this is her fault.

A plain taped cardboard parcel on a wooden table

What I Learned From Selling My Underwear on the Internet

I'm 43 years old. I build decks for a living. I've spent most of my adult life working with lumber, tools, trucks, homeowners and occasionally people who probably shouldn't be allowed to own a tape measure.